LDS WHY

Sexual intimacy outside of marriage usually causes nothing but problems. It results in things like broken marriages, unwanted pregnancy, abortion, guilt, shame, loss of self-respect, and the loss of the Holy Ghost. Why can something that is an “expression of love between husband and wife” (For the Strength of Youth, p. 26) result in such negative things between those who aren’t married? If “physical intimacy between husband and wife is beautiful and sacred” (26) then why is it not so between boyfriend and girlfriend? It hinges on the timing, or the order of when the physical intimacy takes place. There is a time and season for everything, and God has commanded that marriage must come before physical intimacy. If we do this in the wrong order, something sweet can become bitter. Physical intimacy is similar to orange juice and mouthwash. Try this: Pour a tall glass of orange juice and drink half of it. Tasty, isn’t it? Now, go to the bathroom and brush your teeth and rinse with some mouthwash. Nice and fresh! Now, go back and drink the other half of your orange juice. How does it taste now? Isn’t it interesting that if we do this in the wrong order, something sweet can become bitter? Physical intimacy is no different. If physical intimacy follows after the marriage covenant, it is beautiful and sacred. If intimacy comes before marriage, it leads to a whole list of ugly results.

Read what President Benson taught: Do not be misled by Satan’s lies. There is no lasting happiness in immorality. There is no joy to be found in breaking the law of chastity. Just the opposite is true. There may be momentary pleasure. For a time it may seem like everything is wonderful. But quickly the relationship will sour. Guilt and shame set in. We become fearful that our sins will be discovered. We must sneak and hide, lie and cheat. Love begins to die. Bitterness, jealousy, anger, and even hate begin to grow. All of these are the natural results of sin and transgression (Ezra Taft Benson, “The Law of Chastity,” New Era, Jan 1988, 4). One reason why we should stay sexually pure is because immorality leads to negative and bitter feelings, not love. If we truly love someone, we would never want to be the source of these negative feelings that almost always are connected to sin. If we truly love someone, would we ever do anything to intentionally harm them? Would we ever want to harm their very soul? Would we want to be the cause of them not being able to enjoy the gift of the Holy Ghost, the temple, or the sacrament? Do we want to be a contributing party of causing them to lose self-respect, to feel shame and guilt? That is NOT how we show someone we love them! There are some simple temporal reasons as well. For example, when you live the law of chastity you avoid getting sexually transmitted diseases. The New York Times has reported that in the United States alone about 19 million new cases of sexually transmitted diseases are reported each year and that 1 in 4 sexually active teenage girls in the U.S. have a sexually transmitted disease (http://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/14/health/14diseases.html?ref=us accessed 15 November 2007). Furthermore, by staying morally clean you avoid the heartache that comes from pregnancy outside of marriage. Remember that the Proclamation to the World on the Family says that “Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity (The Family: A Proclamation to the World). As you live the law of chastity you give your future children this right, and avoid the hardships that come from pregnancy outside of marriage. Some of these hardships include dropping out of school, losing friends, missing out on the wholesome fun and freedom of youth, and the financial worry and time commitment of bearing, supporting, and raising a child.