President Ezra Taft Benson said, “The plaguing sin of this generation is sexual immorality. This, the Prophet Joseph said, would be the source of more temptations, more buffetings, and more difficulties for the elders of Israel than any other”  (Ensign, May 1986, p.4)

It is interesting to see how this prophecy of Joseph Smith has been fulfilled. Sexual temptation is all around us — and yet there more and more resources that can help strengthen our desire to stay sexually pure. Recently the church has come out with two videos that do a great job of addressing this issue. One is a whiteboard video, and the other one (shown below) features six youth from different religions explaining why they choose to stay sexually pure. It’s powerful.

Why do YOU choose to stay sexually pure?

Brother Hilton and I have both recently returned from teaching at sessions of Especially For Youth (EFY), and we just want to say that the youth of our Church ROCK!  Although we are quick to acknowledge that LDS kids have problems and sins and make mistakes like all other youth (and that there are excellent youth of other faiths too), we should also acknowledge that LDS youth do a remarkable job in representing the Lord and living high standards.  Here is some research confirming that:

A 2001-2005 study of the influence of religion among American teens by the National Study of Youth and Religion found that Latter-day Saint youth, when compared to their peers of other religions, were the most engaged in their faith. The longitudinal study[i] found that LDS teens were less likely to:

• engage in sexual intercourse (12 percent);

• have ever smoked pot (15 percent);

• drink alcohol a few times a year (10 percent);

• watch an X-rated or pornographic program in the past year (15 percent).

Additionally, LDS youth were found more likely to:

• hold religious beliefs similar to their parents’ (73 percent).

• attend religious services once a week (43 percent).

• rate the importance of religious faith in shaping their daily life as “extremely important” (43 percent).

• engage in fasting or some other form of self-denial (68 percent).

• have no or few doubts about religious beliefs (91 percent).

Researcher John Bartowski concluded: “The story we tell about Mormon youth is not that all is well, but compared with other teens they’re more knowledgeable about their faith, more committed to their faith, and have more positive social outcomes associated with their faith.”  Christian Smith, who led the National Study of Youth and Religion, said, “I’m not saying they’re all perfect…I’m not trying to idealize Mormon kids.…[but] Mormon kids tend to be on top.”

The book Souls in Transition reports that LDS youth have the highest rates of church attendance (60 percent), personal prayer (54 percent), Sabbath observance (71 percent), and daily scripture reading (23 percent) compared to teens from other religions.[ii] And for those who think that expecting sexual abstinence from teenagers is laughably unrealistic, findings report that LDS high school seniors have a significantly lower rates of pre-marital sex than the general population of high school seniors: 11% for LDS boys compared to 58% percent for boys nationally, and 19% for LDS girls versus 59% percent nationally.[iii]

Keep up the goodness you youth of the noble birthright, and go on in this great cause! We love you.

[ii] Christian Smith and Patricia Snell, Souls In Transition: The Religious and Spiritual Lives of Emerging Adults, (Oxford University Press), 2009.

[iii] Bruce A. Chadwick, Brent L. Top, and Richard J. McClendon in Shield of Faith (Deseret Book: Salt Lake City), 2010, p. 201

Question: How do I respond to homosexuals that believe they were born that way?

This is a very good, very important, and very touchy question given our current social and political circumstances. Yet it is a question and an issue that as faithful Latter-day Saints we need to know how to answer.

There is a transcript of a great dialogue between Elder Dallin H. Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, Elder Lance B. Wickman of the Seventy, and a representative from the Church Public Affairs department that address many of the underlying issues inherent in the question of nature vs. nurture regarding homosexuality. Hopefully some of their insights can help you as you respond to people who feel they were born with homosexual inclinations. The following are portions from that transcript. We would recommend you read the entire entry at:

http://newsroom.lds.org/ldsnewsroom/eng/public-issues/same-gender-attraction

PUBLIC AFFAIRS: Let’s say my 17-year-old son comes to talk to me and, after a great deal of difficulty trying to get it out, tells me that he believes that he’s attracted to men — that he has no interest and never has had any interest in girls. He believes he’s probably gay. He says that he’s tried to suppress these feelings. He’s remained celibate, but he realizes that his feelings are going to be devastating to the family because we’ve always talked about his Church mission, about his temple marriage and all those kinds of things. He just feels he can’t live what he thinks is a lie any longer, and so he comes in this very upset and depressed manner. What do I tell him as a parent?

ELDER OAKS: …The distinction between feelings or inclinations on the one hand, and behavior on the other hand, is very clear. It’s no sin to have inclinations that if yielded to would produce behavior that would be a transgression. The sin is in yielding to temptation. Temptation is not unique. Even the Savior was tempted.… I think it’s important for you to understand that homosexuality, which you’ve spoken of, is not a noun that describes a condition. It’s an adjective that describes feelings or behavior.

PUBLIC AFFAIRS: If somebody has a very powerful heterosexual drive, there is the opportunity for marriage. If a young man thinks he’s gay, what we’re really saying to him is that there is simply no other way to go but to be celibate for the rest of his life if he doesn’t feel any attraction to women?

ELDER OAKS: That is exactly the same thing we say to the many members who don’t have the opportunity to marry. We expect celibacy of any person that is not married.

PUBLIC AFFAIRS: So you are saying that homosexual feelings are controllable?

ELDER OAKS: Yes, homosexual feelings are controllable. Perhaps there is an inclination or susceptibility to such feelings that is a reality for some and not a reality for others. But out of such susceptibilities come feelings, and feelings are controllable. If we cater to the feelings, they increase the power of the temptation. If we yield to the temptation, we have committed sinful behavior. That pattern is the same for a person that covets someone else’s property and has a strong temptation to steal. It’s the same for a person that develops a taste for alcohol. It’s the same for a person that is born with a ‘short fuse,’ as we would say of a susceptibility to anger. If they let that susceptibility remain uncontrolled, it becomes a feeling of anger, and a feeling of anger can yield to behavior that is sinful and illegal.

We’re not talking about a unique challenge here. We’re talking about a common condition of mortality. We don’t understand exactly the ‘why,’ or the extent to which there are inclinations or susceptibilities and so on. But what we do know is that feelings can be controlled and behavior can be controlled. The line of sin is between the feelings and the behavior. The line of prudence is between the susceptibility and the feelings. We need to lay hold on the feelings and try to control them to keep us from getting into a circumstance that leads to sinful behavior.

ELDER WICKMAN: One of the great sophistries of our age, I think, is that merely because one has an inclination to do something, that therefore acting in accordance with that inclination is inevitable. That’s contrary to our very nature as the Lord has revealed to us. We do have the power to control our behavior.

PUBLIC AFFAIRS: If we were to look back at someone who had a ‘short fuse,’ and we were to look at their parents who might have had a short fuse, some might identify a genetic influence in that.

ELDER OAKS: No, we do not accept the fact that conditions that prevent people from attaining their eternal destiny were born into them without any ability to control. That is contrary to the Plan of Salvation, and it is contrary to the justice and mercy of God. It’s contrary to the whole teaching of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, which expresses the truth that by or through the power and mercy of Jesus Christ we will have the strength to do all things. That includes resisting temptation. That includes dealing with things that we’re born with, including disfigurements, or mental or physical incapacities. None of these stand in the way of our attaining our eternal destiny. The same may be said of a susceptibility or inclination to one behavior or another which if yielded to would prevent us from achieving our eternal destiny.

PUBLIC AFFAIRS: You’re saying the Church doesn’t necessarily have a position on ‘nurture or nature’

ELDER OAKS: That’s where our doctrine comes into play. The Church does not have a position on the causes of any of these susceptibilities or inclinations, including those related to same-gender attraction. Those are scientific questions — whether nature or nurture — those are things the Church doesn’t have a position on.

ELDER WICKMAN: Whether it is nature or nurture really begs the important question, and a preoccupation with nature or nurture can, it seems to me, lead someone astray from the principles that Elder Oaks has been describing here. Why somebody has a same-gender attraction… who can say? But what matters is the fact that we know we can control how we behave, and it is behavior which is important.

Elders Oaks and Wickman outline many important principles in this discussion, but perhaps none as important as the fact that there is a distinction between feeling tempted and acting on temptation. Whether we are born a certain way is not really the issue, as all of us generally have aspects of our nature—large and small—that are inconsistent with the gospel. One great truth regarding this issue is that the atonement of Jesus Christ can provide the power to resist temptation, control our feelings, and help us keep our lives in harmony with the gospel plan (see 1 Corinthians 10:13). That principle is more important than the question of nature or nature. We testify of the truthfulness of the Lord’s ability to provide us power to do His will (see 1 Nephi 3:7).

]]> http://ldswhy.com/qa/how-do-i-respond-to-homosexuals-that-believe-they-were-born-that-way/feed/ 0 http://ldswhy.com/qa/why-do-some-get-leadership-callings-and-others-dont/ http://ldswhy.com/qa/why-do-some-get-leadership-callings-and-others-dont/#comments Sun, 05 Jul 2009 22:16:27 +0000 tony http://ldswhy.com/qa/?p=718 This week we received the following question through www.ldswhy.com:

 Question: “Why do the same people get leadership callings over and over and others that are just as capable, if not more, do not get the chance to servive like that! …[T]his question bothers me alot and I do not understand it.”

This is a very good question. Many times, when someone receives a prominent church calling we might wonder why we (or other people who are just as capable) weren’t called. We know that it is through inspiration that people are called to leadership positions, but what if we are never called?  Does that mean there is something wrong with us?  

At the heart of these questions there seems to be an assumption that might be causing the frustration. Some of the following rhetorical questions might reveal if we are being negatively affected by these assumptions: Do we feel that church leadership callings are equivalent to or reflect our level of righteousness? or, Do we feel that church leadership callings determine our ability or opportunity to have spiritual experiences? If we answered “yes” to either of those questions, we might need to adjust our thinking.

President Boyd K. Packer related this great story on the subject: “When I was a young man, I was a home teacher to a very old sister. She taught me from her life experience.

When she was a little girl, President Brigham Young came to Brigham City, a great event in the town named after him. To honor him, the Primary children, all dressed in white, were lined up along the road coming into town, each with a basket of flowers to spread before the carriage of the President of the Church.

Something displeased her. Instead of throwing her blossoms, she kicked a rock in front of the carriage, saying, ‘He ain’t one bit better than my Grandpa Lovelund.’ That was overheard, and she was severely scolded.

I am very sure that President Brigham Young would be the first to agree with little Janie Steed. He would not consider himself to be worth more than Grandpa Lovelund or any other worthy member of the Church. …There is the natural tendency to look at those who are sustained to presiding positions, to consider them to be higher and of more value in the Church or to their families than an ordinary member. Somehow we feel they are worth more to the Lord than are we. It just does not work that way!” (Boyd K. Packer, “The Weak and the Simple of the Church,” Ensign, Nov 2007, 6–9).

Truly, the Lord does not work that way. Remember, our spiritual experiences are primarily based soley on one factor: our connection to the Holy Ghost. Visions, prophecy, revelation, healing, etc. are not determined or confined to particular callings. Those are gifts of the Spirit–gifts that every righteous member of the Church can enjoy and receive, regardless of callings or position (see Moroni 10).  The parent as well as the patriarch can prophesy, the mother as well as the missionary can perform miracles, the home techer as well as the High Priests group leader can heal.    

Similarly, we also know that our worth, and our potential for a celestial inheritace, is not determined by the level of our church callings. The faithful primary teacher will go to heaven just as fast as the faithful prophet. As President J. Reuben Clark Jr. (1871–1961) of the First Presidency taught: “In the service of the Lord, it is not where you serve but how” (as cited in, “In the Service of the Lord,” Ensign, Aug 2006, 12–15). This truth was evident by the Lord’s semi-rebuke to his apostles when they asked Him which one of them would be the greatest in heaven (presumably because they thought their callings made them great). Imagine their dismay with the Lord’s answer in Luke 9:46-48:

“Then there arose a reasoning among them, which of them should be greatest. And Jesus, perceiving the thought of their heart, took a child, and set him by him, And said unto them, Whosoever shall receive this child in my name receiveth me: and whosoever shall receive me receiveth him that sent me: for he that is least among you all, the same shall be great.”

In other words, “Hey, your calling doesn’t matter to me. I care about your heart. I want you to become converted, like a little child, and then you will be great. But your callings don’t determine spiritual greatness…your heart does.”

After understanding and believing these principles–that our callings don’t determine spiritual experiences or our spiritual greatness–if we still want a high profile calling, then we might do well to check our hearts for some hidden pride. Perhaps we just want some recognition, or to feel important. Those are natural feelings of course, but that is the problem: they are part of the natural man (see Mosiah 3:19). In a world that tries to determine our worth based on our titles and position in society, it is hard to not carry that  thinking into the Kingdom. But the ways of the Lord and the ways of the world are different (see Isaiah 55:8-9). This little poem that President Monson often quotes has been helpful in setting some misaligned hearts back in tune:

Father, where shall I work today?

And my love flowed warm and free.

Then He pointed out a tiny spot

And said, “Tend that for me.”

I answered quickly, “Oh no; not that!

Why, no one would ever see,

No matter how well my work was done;

Not that little place for me.”

And the word He spoke, it was not stern;

He answered me tenderly:

“Ah, little one, search that heart of thine.

Art thou working for them or for me?

Nazareth was a little place,

And so was Galilee.”

(Meade McGuire.)

Let us, as President Monson is also apt to say, simply accept our callings we are given and go “do our duty, that is best. Leave unto the Lord the rest.”

Read what President Benson taught: Do not be misled by Satan’s lies. There is no lasting happiness in immorality. There is no joy to be found in breaking the law of chastity. Just the opposite is true. There may be momentary pleasure. For a time it may seem like everything is wonderful. But quickly the relationship will sour. Guilt and shame set in. We become fearful that our sins will be discovered. We must sneak and hide, lie and cheat. Love begins to die. Bitterness, jealousy, anger, and even hate begin to grow. All of these are the natural results of sin and transgression (Ezra Taft Benson, “The Law of Chastity,” New Era, Jan 1988, 4). One reason why we should stay sexually pure is because immorality leads to negative and bitter feelings, not love. If we truly love someone, we would never want to be the source of these negative feelings that almost always are connected to sin. If we truly love someone, would we ever do anything to intentionally harm them? Would we ever want to harm their very soul? Would we want to be the cause of them not being able to enjoy the gift of the Holy Ghost, the temple, or the sacrament? Do we want to be a contributing party of causing them to lose self-respect, to feel shame and guilt? That is NOT how we show someone we love them! There are some simple temporal reasons as well. For example, when you live the law of chastity you avoid getting sexually transmitted diseases. The New York Times has reported that in the United States alone about 19 million new cases of sexually transmitted diseases are reported each year and that 1 in 4 sexually active teenage girls in the U.S. have a sexually transmitted disease (http://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/14/health/14diseases.html?ref=us accessed 15 November 2007). Furthermore, by staying morally clean you avoid the heartache that comes from pregnancy outside of marriage. Remember that the Proclamation to the World on the Family says that “Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity (The Family: A Proclamation to the World). As you live the law of chastity you give your future children this right, and avoid the hardships that come from pregnancy outside of marriage. Some of these hardships include dropping out of school, losing friends, missing out on the wholesome fun and freedom of youth, and the financial worry and time commitment of bearing, supporting, and raising a child.

We didn’t make the rule, so we don’t know for sure—but here are a couple of ideas.

Idea number one: You mature a lot between the ages of fifteen and sixteen. Generally speaking, a sixteen year old is better equipped than a fifteen year old to handle the temptation and pressure that accompany dating.

Idea number two: Studies have shown that teenagers who begin dating early are much more likely to be immoral than the teens who wait to date. For example the same study quoted above showed that 70% of teenagers who waited to date until they were 16 avoided immoral activity, while 80% of those who reported dating before they were 16 had become sexually involved enough to need the counsel of their Bishop (see Bruce Monson, New Era , 6/01, 36).

President Hinckley offered his wisdom on the matter by saying,

The Lord has made us attractive one to another for a great purpose. But this very attraction becomes as a powder keg unless it is kept under control. It is beautiful when handled in the right way. It is deadly if it gets out of hand. It is for this reason that the Church counsels against early dating . This rule is not designed to hurt you in any way. It is designed to help you, and it will do so if you will observe it ( Ensign , January 2001, 8, emphasis added).

Elder Jeffery R. Holland answered these very questions in General Conference. He explained precisely why it is absolutely vital we remain morally clean.

We declare that one who uses the God-given body of another without divine sanction abuses the very soul of that individual. . . . In exploiting the body of another — which means exploiting his or her soul — one desecrates the Atonement of Christ, which saved that soul and which makes possible the gift of eternal life. And when one mocks the Son of Righteousness, one steps into a realm of heat hotter and holier than the noonday sun. You cannot do so and not be burned.

In case that isn’t convincing enough, read on:

Please, never say: “Who does it hurt? Why not a little freedom? I can transgress now and repent later.” Please don’t be so foolish and so cruel. You cannot with impunity “crucify Christ afresh.” “Flee fornication,” Paul cries, and flee “anything like unto it,” the Doctrine and Covenants adds. Why? Well, for one reason because of the incalculable suffering in both body and spirit endured by the Savior of the world so that we could flee. We owe Him something for that. Indeed, we owe Him everything for that. “Ye are not your own,” Paul says. “Ye [have been] bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.” In sexual transgression the soul is at stake—the body and the spirit ( Ensign , Nov. 1998, 76).

According to Elder Holland, our bodies are gifts that should not be tarnished by immoral activities. The Savior purchased them with his blood in the Garden of Gethsemane ; we owe it to Him to keep them clean. And, as Elder Holland pointed out, immorality damages the soul—both our bodies and our spirits.

Another reason why you should live the law of chastity is that it will prepare you to have a stronger, happier marriage in the future. Think of the mistrust that could develop in a marriage if one of the partners had been immoral earlier in life. You strengthen your future marriage by living the law of chastity today. A modern prophet has promised us this. President Benson taught, “When we… keep ourselves morally clean, we will experience the blessings of increased love and peace, greater trust and respect for our marital partners, deeper commitment to each other, and therefore a deep and significant sense of joy and happiness” (President Benson, New Era , Jan. 1988, 5–6).

A third reason why it’s so important we must obey the law of chastity is because immorality leads to hate, not love. President Benson taught this as well by saying:

Do not be misled by Satan’s lies…There is no joy to be found in breaking the law of chastity. Just the opposite is true. There may be momentary pleasure. For a time it may seem like everything is wonderful. But quickly the relationship will sour. Guilt and shame set in. We become fearful that our sins will be discovered. We must sneak and hide, lie and cheat. Love begins to die. Bitterness, jealousy, anger, and even hate begin to grow. All of these are the natural results of sin and transgression ( New Era , Jan. 1988, 5–6).

As you can see, there are many reasons why it’s vital we live the law of chastity.

–go to http://ldswhy.com, select “stuff from the book” and watch the video about implosion…