“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back– Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth that ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.”

Live your dream!

We hope that each of us can take to heart the invitation given by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf in the September Ensign magazine. He said:

“As you prepare for general conference, I invite you to ponder questions you need to have answered… Answers to your specific prayers may come directly from a particular talk or from a specific phrase. At other times answers may come in a seemingly unrelated word, phrase, or song.”

What questions do you have going into conference. Whether it’s:

• How can I be a better friend?
• How can I make my prayers more meaningful?
• What should I do to help a friend struggling with serious problems?
• Should I tryout for the basketball team?
• Or any other question…

We know that you will find answers at General Conference! BE THERE!

“Notwithstanding our afflictions, we have obtained a land of promise, a land which is choice above all other lands…Wherefore, this land is consecrated unto him whom he shall bring. And if it so be that they shall serve him according to the commandments which he hath given, it shall be a land of liberty unto them; wherefore, they shall never be brought down into captivity; if so, it shall be because of iniquity; for if iniquity shall abound cursed shall be the land for their sakes, but unto the righteous it shall be blessed forever.” (2 Nephi 1:5,7)

May God Bless America

We know that it’s important to do well in school President Gordon B. Hinckley said, “You belong to a church that teaches the importance of education. You have a mandate from the Lord to educate your minds and your hearts and your hands. The Lord has said, “Teach ye diligently … of things both in heaven and in the earth, and under the earth; things which have been, things which are, things which must shortly come to pass; things which are at home, things which are abroad; the wars and the perplexities of the nations, and the judgments which are on the land; and a knowledge also of countries and of kingdoms—that ye may be prepared in all things” (D&C 88:78–80).”

So now that we’re in school, and we WANT to do well, how can we succeed?

One great tool is the “Be Smart” website. It give several important tips, including one of our favorites (take seminary!).

There are lot of things you can do to succeed in school (see this site for some great ones), but we thought we’d pass on one tip from the perspective of a teacher. Remember that teachers are people too (we know it’s hard to believe)! Simple things like staying focused in class, dropping by to say hi before or after school, or occasionally asking for help with something relating to class can build your relationship with your teacher. And generally, the better your relationship with the teacher, the more you will want to succeed in that class.

Good luck this year, and remember, don’t be late for class!

President Ezra Taft Benson said, “The plaguing sin of this generation is sexual immorality. This, the Prophet Joseph said, would be the source of more temptations, more buffetings, and more difficulties for the elders of Israel than any other”  (Ensign, May 1986, p.4)

It is interesting to see how this prophecy of Joseph Smith has been fulfilled. Sexual temptation is all around us — and yet there more and more resources that can help strengthen our desire to stay sexually pure. Recently the church has come out with two videos that do a great job of addressing this issue. One is a whiteboard video, and the other one (shown below) features six youth from different religions explaining why they choose to stay sexually pure. It’s powerful.

Why do YOU choose to stay sexually pure?

This past week we got a question from a youth who asked: “I have had many opportunities to introduce friends to the church and it seems like the polygamy question always comes up. I do not really know why we had polygamy and why the church changed it.”  In light of this question and the recent conviction of polygamist Warren Jeffs (who is not a Latter-day Saint, nor are his followers), we thought we would do a brief Q&A post addressing the basics of LDS polygamy as simply and accurately as possible.  Here you go:

1. Q.  Did Mormons practice polygamy? A. Yes, Mormons used to practice polygamy.  Some faithful Latter-day Saints followed a revelation to practice polygamy for about 50 years, and then ended the practice when a revelation to the prophet told them to stop it.  However, our Church hasn’t advocated polygamy for more than 100 years now.  It’s in the past and irrelevant today, let’s move on.
2. Q. So was polygamy the Mormon standard way of marriage? A. It wasn’t, nor isn’t. The Lord’s standard law on marriage is one man to one woman.  The Book of Mormon plainly teaches that a man should “have save it be one wife” (Jacob 2:27).  Mormon.org teaches that “The Lord’s law of marriage is monogamy [one woman and one man].”[i] Polygamy isn’t the Lord’s standard, it’s the rare anomaly.
3. Q. Why then did Mormons practice polygamy if the standard law is one man and one woman? A. Although the standard is one man and one woman, the Book of Mormon indicates that the Lord can make an exception to this rule, and if God commands his people, plural marriage can be practiced (Jacob 2:30). This apparently was the case in the Bible, when prophets such as Abraham, Jacob, and Moses had plural wives, and for a brief period of time it was also the case for some Latter-day Saints.  God can give a law, and revoke a law, as he is the lawgiver (In other words God can say: “Sacrifice animals to remember me,” and then change it to, “Now take the sacrament to remember me.”  Or he can say, “Here is a Law given to Moses, follow it” and then later change it and say “Now here is a higher law, follow it instead” as he did in the New Testament).
4. Q. So why did the Lord tell Joseph Smith and the early saints to practice polygamy then? A. We don’t know exactly why the Lord told Joseph Smith to implement plural marriage.  Perhaps it was part of the “restitution [or restoration] of all things” (Acts 3:21), including the marriage system of some of the ancient patriarchs (see D&C 132:32).  The Book of Mormon hints that part of the purpose of plural marriage is to “raise up seed unto me” (Jacob 2:30) and “to multiply and replenish the earth, according to my commandment” (Doctrine and Covenants 132:63).   On the Church’s official website it says that it is to “to help establish the House of Israel.”[ii]
5. Q. Isn’t it true that all Mormons practiced polygamy during the mid 1800’s, and that those who did had like 50 wives, like in this post’s picture? A. False.  During the brief 50 years when polygamist marriage were authorized in the Church, only 20%-25%[iii] of  married Latter-day Saints practiced polygamy, where a man  married more than one woman at a time (technically polygyny).  Of the LDS men who did enter into plural marriages, most only married one additional wife.[iv]
6. Q. I heard that polygamy was implemented by Brigham Young and practiced because all the men crossing the plains died and there were too many women and not enough men  A. False. Census records show that during the time plural marriage was practiced more adult men were in Utah than adult women.  Additionally, polygamy was implemented for the Church by Joseph Smith in Nauvoo before the Saints even came west to Salt Lake (see D&C 132).
7. Q. Someone told me that the reason why plural marriage ended was because the U.S. laws made it illegal, but that if we didn’t have those laws we would practice it again today? A. False. Although the laws and condition of society can influence revelation, plural marriage did not end only because of the laws of the country.  Plural marriage ended because God revealed to the prophet Wilford Woodruff that practicing plural marriage was no longer expedient for the LDS Church, and that the continuation of its practice would hinder the Church in its efforts to preach the gospel to the whole world and provide the ordinances of salvation (see Official Declaration 1 and the excerpts by President Wilford Woodruff at the end of the Doctrine and Covenants).  It is about an overall revelation, not a U.S. law. Otherwise the Church would practice polygamy today in countries where there aren’t laws against polygamy, but they don’t.
8. Q. Polygamy was a mistake by the Church and its leaders, wasn’t it?  A. No.  Remember, the Book of Mormon teaches that God “doeth not anything save it be for the benefit of the world; for he loveth the world” (2 Nephi 26:24).  There was a purpose behind its practice, which purpose was for good (although we may not immediately see it or know it right now). Joseph Smith, Brigham Young, Heber C. Kimball, Wilford Woodruff, John Taylor, George Q. Cannon, and other great Latter-day Saints did not make a mistake, they followed a difficult law given by God.  Similarly, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Moses, and others didn’t make a mistake in having more than one wife: they followed a law as well.  Although Mormons are not ashamed of our polygamist past, it is against the standards and teachings of the Latter-day Saints to practice plural marriage today.  Anyone who is currently practicing polygamy is not a faithful Mormon and is excluded from membership in the LDS Church[v], even if the laws of their country allow it.

We hope some of these points might help you in your discussions with others.  We testify that the LDS Church always have been, and continues to be, led by living, authorized prophets of God.

[ii] http://mormon.org/faq/#Polygamy

[iii] Encyclopedia of Mormonism, 1-4 vols., edited by Daniel H. Ludlow (New York: Macmillan, 1992),, p.1095

[iv] Joseph Smith and His Plural Wives (FARMS Review, 1998, vol. 10, no. 2, pp. 67-104) by Richard Lloyd Anderson & Scott H. Faulring report that 66.3% of Utah polygamists had two wives, and another 21.2% had three wives.

[v] In 1998, LDS Church President and Prophet Gordon B. Hinckley (1910-2008) made the following statement about the LDS Church’s position on plural marriage: “This Church has nothing whatever to do with those practicing polygamy. They are not members of this Church. … If any of our members are found to be practicing plural marriage, they are excommunicated, the most serious penalty the Church can impose. Not only are those so involved in direct violation of the civil law, they are in violation of the law of this Church” (Ensign, Nov. 1998, 71).

On the trip down it was raining and we began talking about the dangers of flash floods, particularly in the slot canyons. It was then that I realized I had absolutely no idea what to do in case of a flash flood. (If you don’t know what to do either, you can find out more here).

But what struck me was that although I knew WHY I wouldn’t want to be stuck in a flash flood (duh!) I had no idea HOW to handle the situation if I was ever in it. It reminded me of this quote from Elder Russell M. Nelson:

“Once we … understand the importance and meaning of a commandment, we need to learn how to do it.”

There are so many important things to learn HOW to do. And they aren’t always obvious. How can I recognize and develop spiritual gifts? How can I have more meaningful prayers? How can I know when the Spirit is speaking to me? How can I get more from my scripture study?

There are real skills that we can acquire that can make it easier to live gospel principles. Anthony and I collect over 100 questions that relate to HOW to live the gospel and put them together in our book HOW?

You can download tons of information from the book, or get a copy. It’s 50% off this month! We hope that it will help you in your efforts to learn HOW to live the gospel.

Brother Hilton and I have both recently returned from teaching at sessions of Especially For Youth (EFY), and we just want to say that the youth of our Church ROCK!  Although we are quick to acknowledge that LDS kids have problems and sins and make mistakes like all other youth (and that there are excellent youth of other faiths too), we should also acknowledge that LDS youth do a remarkable job in representing the Lord and living high standards.  Here is some research confirming that:

A 2001-2005 study of the influence of religion among American teens by the National Study of Youth and Religion found that Latter-day Saint youth, when compared to their peers of other religions, were the most engaged in their faith. The longitudinal study[i] found that LDS teens were less likely to:

• engage in sexual intercourse (12 percent);

• have ever smoked pot (15 percent);

• drink alcohol a few times a year (10 percent);

• watch an X-rated or pornographic program in the past year (15 percent).

Additionally, LDS youth were found more likely to:

• hold religious beliefs similar to their parents’ (73 percent).

• attend religious services once a week (43 percent).

• rate the importance of religious faith in shaping their daily life as “extremely important” (43 percent).

• engage in fasting or some other form of self-denial (68 percent).

• have no or few doubts about religious beliefs (91 percent).

Researcher John Bartowski concluded: “The story we tell about Mormon youth is not that all is well, but compared with other teens they’re more knowledgeable about their faith, more committed to their faith, and have more positive social outcomes associated with their faith.”  Christian Smith, who led the National Study of Youth and Religion, said, “I’m not saying they’re all perfect…I’m not trying to idealize Mormon kids.…[but] Mormon kids tend to be on top.”

The book Souls in Transition reports that LDS youth have the highest rates of church attendance (60 percent), personal prayer (54 percent), Sabbath observance (71 percent), and daily scripture reading (23 percent) compared to teens from other religions.[ii] And for those who think that expecting sexual abstinence from teenagers is laughably unrealistic, findings report that LDS high school seniors have a significantly lower rates of pre-marital sex than the general population of high school seniors: 11% for LDS boys compared to 58% percent for boys nationally, and 19% for LDS girls versus 59% percent nationally.[iii]

Keep up the goodness you youth of the noble birthright, and go on in this great cause! We love you.

[ii] Christian Smith and Patricia Snell, Souls In Transition: The Religious and Spiritual Lives of Emerging Adults, (Oxford University Press), 2009.

[iii] Bruce A. Chadwick, Brent L. Top, and Richard J. McClendon in Shield of Faith (Deseret Book: Salt Lake City), 2010, p. 201

Did you know that there is an official Compliment Day? Actually, according to this website every day should be Compliment Day.Why?

Well of course there is always Matthew 25:40. In addition to that powerful reason, the site says:

You cannot give a sincere compliment without feeling great. It’s impossible….

There are…many hidden benefits to giving compliments. It’s amazing that such a small, simple skill like giving away compliments can change the way you view yourself and the world around you. It will strengthen your relationships, boost your self-esteem, and increase your self-confidence. You will experience joy and happiness as you learn to give selflessly.”

Recently I was challenged to give out 10 compliments in 24 hours. It really wasn’t that hard and I noticed that I really did feel better as I complimented others.

I love what For The Strength of Youth says: “Use language that uplifts, encourages and compliments others….When you use good language, you invite the Spirit to be with you.”

Perhaps that is the greatest reason of all why we should compliment others.

“May I express my personal warning about a practice that is common in many cultures. I am referring to sleepovers, or spending the night at the home of a friend. As a bishop I discovered that too many youth violated the Word of Wisdom or the law of chastity for the first time as part of a sleepover. Too often their first exposure to pornography and even their first encounter with the police occurred when they were spending the night away from home.

Peer pressure becomes more powerful when our children are away from our influence and when their defenses are weakened late at night. If you have ever felt uneasy about an overnight activity, don’t be afraid to respond to that warning voice inside. Always be prayerful when it comes to protecting your precious children.”

We would like to know your thoughts on the sleepover matter if you want to provide some insight for us and others. Below is the actual letter (names removed) in case you want to use it yourself!

Dear ________ (friend’s name),

My daughter has made it VERY clear that she is NOT happy with our family policy of not having sleepovers at any of our friends’ house (“worst parents ever” were her exact words).  So that you understand that this is nothing personal (in other words, she likes you very, very, much, and so do we), here is WHY we don’t allow our children to have sleepovers at friends’ houses when it isn’t necessary:

1.       We make the rules for our family, and we are very, very cool.

2.       We like to inflict unnecessary torture and pain on our children, and make their lives miserable for no reason.

3.       We don’t want our kids to have any friends.  Especially not nice friends like you.

4.       We understand that if our daughter doesn’t attend this sleepover that her life will forever be ruined, and she will never, ever, ever have another friend.  That is exactly what we want to happen.

5.       During those 8 hours you are asleep, we understand that you will find a cure for cancer, solve world hunger, discover the lost city of Atlantis, and provide democracy to China.  We don’t want our daughter to be a part of ANY of that.

6.       Our kids love us sooooooo much that they cannot stand the thought of being away from us for one night.  We would not want them to have such a miserable experience with their friends (we must shield them and keep them in a bubble!).

7.       We do everything just because everyone else does them and because they are culturally acceptable to do so.  If everyone else was just doing sleepovers, then we would change what we do and be like everyone else, because that is the best way to live our lives! We so bad want our kids to understand that we change our standards for every exception that comes along the way!

8.       We know that kids are always on their very, very best behavior late at night away from home when adults are asleep (especially as they become teenagers).  We would love to establish a repeated pattern of our kids spending the night with their friends so that when they are teenagers it is a common practice and they can act their very best in the wonderful environment that repeated sleepovers provide!  It is when they are at home that they are wicked, wicked little monkeys.  We want them to stay at home so we can keep our eye on them because we don’t trust them at all.

Thanks for being so understanding of our family rules!

With love,

Your friend’s dad