This is a hard question because all our personal situations are different with our parents. However, we would do well to remember two things: 1) Sometimes our parents want different things for us than we do because (and we hate to say this, but its true), they know better than we do. Think of all the wisdom and knowledge you have gained over the last three years of your life. Are you a little wiser, more mature, more insightful, more experienced, and have better perspective now than you did then? Now multiply that by 10, and that is probably how much wiser, more insightful, and more experienced your parents are than you. Think of this in regards to our relationship with our Heavenly Father: Do we ever want things different than what He is telling us? Not thy will, but mine be done? Many times. But who is right? We tend to lean towards the all-knowing and all-loving God.
Of the Ten Commandments that God gave to Moses, only one came with a stated promise:
the fifth commandment, which says, “Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be
long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee” (Exodus 20:12; emphasis added). The
scriptures don’t spell out exactly how it is that your days will be long, but common sense dictates
that those who honor their parents will probably live longer than if they didn’t.
If for some reason you feel your parents aren’t looking out for your best interest, then you can still disagree without being disagreeable (Marvin J. Ashton, “No Time for Contention,”, May 1978, 7). You can honor them, even if you disagree with them. You can speak to them kindly, you can listen patiently, you can compliment and thank them for their advice, and you can serve and love them. The commandment to “Honor thy father and mother” (Exodus 20:12) doesn’t just mean to obey our parents, it also implies respect, reverence, honesty, and bringing praise to them.
I had a hard time with this too, because I thought “Honoring” meant “Obeying”. One of my parents wanted me to do something that wasn’t right. I thought if I didn’t “Obey” them, then I would be breaking a commandment and wouldn’t be able to live with Heavenly Father again. Well that was when I was a child and I’ve learned since then, that honoring your parents means NOT to do anything that would hurt there name, such as smoking, drinking, doing drugs, etc. If you want to go to Yale and they want you to go to Harvard, just because you choose your own school doesn’t bring them dishonor. Going to any good school will be honoring them. If you decided to become a drunk instead of going to do something good (honorable), then that would be dishonoring them.
I had a wise institute teacher that once said he had what he would describe as a wicked sister. He said he had trouble with the law of forgiveness. He thought he HAD to let his sister in his life if he was to forgive her. He later learned he had to do what he felt was right in his life, but still show love for everyone. He said I don’t hold any ill will towards my sister. If she needs a kidney and I am a match. It’s hers, but It doesn’t mean we have to do lunch.
I hope this doesn’t confuse anyone what I’m trying to express. Good luck!