We have both talked with teenagers who felt completely broken up inside as their parents were going through a divorce. For example, we’re thinking a young woman who felt that the divorce was her fault, a young woman who knew it wasn’t her fault, but she really missed her dad, and a young man who was torn between living with his mother and father.
In a lot of respects this is a personal question that should be answered differently depending on individual circumstances. But there are a few principles that we would want you to know if you are a teenager struggling with parents who are getting a divorce.
1. Know that the divorce is not your fault. Your parents are adults and they are making their own choices. Regardless of what you do (or don’t do) your parents have to make their own choices about what to do with their marriage. Please don’t feel guilt or take responsibility for the situation.
2. Know that God loves you. Right now you might be feeling unloved. With your parents going through struggles you may feel that nobody cares about you or your problems. You need to know that God cares about you. He has said, “I have loved thee with an everlasting love” (Jeremiah 31:3). The Savior said, “I will not leave you comfortless. I will come to you” (John 14:18). Know that in your hour of need, even if others abandon you, God never will.
3. Know that the scriptures will help you. The word of God is “quick and powerful” and it will help you in the struggles you face. Please remember to seriously study the scriptures. As you are in pain, feast on the scriptures. Search for answers, comfort and peace from them. God will speak to you from the scriptures.
These are just a few ideas that we have…we’d love it if people would share their comments, advice and ideas for teens who are struggling with their parents getting divorced.
I don’t know what to do, now. My family is in caos
Dear Dorcas Yang,
I help tons of kids at school with their probloms even if I am still very young!So now its time for me to help YOU!Well if you are having probloms of who you should be with…Well I say you should be with your mother….I mean she was the one that gave you most of your life than your father right?And sometimes you can have days planned to be with your father like on weekends.I have had a problom like that and it was really terrible because at that time I had a little sister and she was like about almost one year old.So sometimes I went over to my dads on weekends or other times my sister would…..But dont worry cause if you ever get a step dad or mom this is what well happen……..You father well always be your father and your mother well always be your mother so that means not at all worries if you get a step parent!